TAMPA – Audrey Mabrey arrived at the studios of ABC Action News on Wednesday proudly wearing purple and a lovely smile to match.
We first met Audrey October 20, 2009 after her husband tried to kill her – dousing her with lighter fluid and setting her on fire. She’s come a long way since then.
The burn-victim and domestic violence survivor was reunited with her young sons earlier this year, after months of painful medical treatments. She’s become an important advocate for local shelters and domestic violence programs and made her network television debut. Audrey was invited to the “Dr. Phil Show” to face off with a husband and wife struggling with domestic violence.
“I looked straight at him and said ‘This is what could happen!’” explained Audrey.
“My friends asked me if I was sure I wanted to go and I’m so glad I did. I really think I made a difference in that man’s life. He was arrogant and making excuses for himself during the interview and then when I came out, and he saw me, his whole attitude changed,” she said.
That was one of the many stories Audrey shared with nearly 50 of our station employees who had gathered in Studio B for the annual WFTS Employee Awareness Sessions. Audrey talked and we all listened, so captivated by her, the only noise competing with Audrey’s voice was a faint hum coming from the studio lights hanging from above.
She keeps a picture of her ex-husband on the refrigerator door for the sake of their sons. Yes, she tells them “Daddy loves you” but spares them the details of the attack.
Yes, she has forgiven him.
And no, she has never asked him “Why?”
“I haven’t and I won’t. What’s the point, he could just lie about it”, said Audrey, “I just want to move on with my life and raise my boys to be good, decent men. No excuses.”
Audrey told employees how best to talk to our kids about domestic violence, how to approach a friend or relative who may be a victim, and she even covered what not to say.
“Don’t talk about the attacker. Focus on her,” she said. “Her instinct will be to defend him, because she thinks you’re judging her.”
Instead, Audrey suggested starting a conversation with one of these: “What can I do to help you?” “I am worried about you.” “I am here for you if you need someone to talk to.” “I’m not here to judge, I just want to help.”
Audrey’s morning visit to the station ended with a surprise for most of us. A community outreach officer with the Social Security Administration (SSA) in the Tampa Bay area delivered exciting news.
Maryann Sturmfels is the co-chair of the National Women Advisory Council which is comprised of volunteers from the Social Security Administration. She shared how our Taking Action Against Domestic Violence campaign inspired their first ever Tampa Bay regional domestic violence awareness employee training program.
DVD copies of the 2009 and 2010 TAADV Primetime Specials from ABC Action News are available for SSA employees to review. Sturmfels noted that several employees and Rotary Club members were so moved after watching to stories of families in shelter, they made beautiful floral bouquets to brighten those shelters. Each one was delivered with a written message: You are not forgotten.
Sturmfels shared how employees also organized a food drive for The Spring of Tampa Bay DV Center and raised more than 630 pounds of food for their shelter this summer.
Sturmfels concluded by presenting their first Community Service Award to ABC Action News and the Taking Action Against Domestic Violence Campaign.
“Three potential victims have already been directed to local shelters and are safe now. Numerous other callers have thanked us for the 1-800 hot-line number and shelter locations. One office visitor was told by an abuser that there was a charge for the shelter so she ‘might as well forget it.’ She and her little child are both safe now,” said Sturmfels with a smile.
The visit by both Sturmfels and Mabrey helped us at ABC Action News feel good about what we feel is our responsibility – creating awareness for this dangerous killer, and offering resources to victims.
And at the same time, the visit made us realize how much work is yet to be done.
